Stay in Your Own Lane, Christopher

I know that people sometimes think me odd because I tend to entertain grand visions of what's possible.  It is a gift, I think, to be able to stand in a situation and see new possibilities as if in technicolor.  Sometimes this can be a doubled-edged sword.  The challenge of vision is that often only a few people get it.  If vision and idealism were too common, then there would be nothing special about it.  To hold a vision, one has to be willing to stand in the face of no agreement and trust the small voice within.  Today, I am being led to stay in my own lane and trust that which waits to be birthed is inspired and attainable.  What's that old saying?  If my mind can conceive it, then I can achieve it?  So I'm gonna stay in my own lane and work it out to the best of my ability.  And I know that the secret to leadership is simply leading.  My entire life has led to this moment.

My mother used to always accuse me of being a bit flighty.  I suppose from her perspective, this was true.  I was always running around trying to create something.  Whether it was taking things apart to see how they worked, or building things from scratch just to see if they would work.  As I grew, so did my desire to create.

Years ago, most of my work was with young people; as a youth minister, a staff person at St. Katherine Home for Boys, and later working my way up from a relief worker to a house manager for Olive Crest Treatment Center.  At Olive Crest, I created a house-wide point system, linking the achievement of all six young men.  Within in a matter of months, my house (Joyce Street) went from being number 24 of 24 to being number 1 of 24.

At the Inland AIDS Project, I was the first outreach worker and was tasked with developing the grant-driven work plan while creating a strategy to achieve the program's goals.  While at IAP, a friend from the local health department told me that he wanted to make an investment in me.  He was working on a grant application for the United States Conference of Mayors.  He suggested that I work with him on the application to learn program development and grant writing.  In many ways, Alex Taylor changed my life and provided me with early skills development that has resulted in programs being designed (and funded) in San Diego (Recreating Our Future), San Francisco (New Village), Los Angeles (AIDS Prevention Team), Tuscon (Tribal Revival and Eon), and Denver (ELEMENT).

I addition to program development, I was trained extensively in fund development and held membership in the National Society of Fund Raising Executives.  While I was working for the American Red Cross of the Inland Empire, I was invited to stretch myself and take on the creation of a new development apparatus.  At the time, I knew nothing of fund development.  For two years, I worked closely with a Senior Vice President from the National Chapter in D.C.  I was also provided with a consultant from the Russ Reid Company with whom I worked extensively as I learned the development craft.  Our development framework was called Emergency Response 2000.  The lead donor, who had given to the National Chapter but never to the local chapter, gave us our first $100,000 gift.  Years later, in her will, she would bequeath the local chapter several endowments worth millions of dollars.

The marriage of program development, grantsmanship and fund raising is in many ways the perfect nonprofit trifecta.  Conservatively speaking, I would estimate that I have raised over $25 million in the past twenty years.  I also have in my bag a tricks a successful record of advocacy.  While at the Santa Cruz AIDS Project, we (and most smaller counties in California) were at risk of loosing significant HIV prevention funding as the larger jurisdictions laid claims on the lion's share of state funding.  My friend Katherine, the executive director of our neighboring local AIDS project, and I agreed that if they were going to cut off our legs, then they would have to watch us bleed.  We started a statewide grassroots initiative that we called the NUDGE Coalition. NUDGE stood for 'Non-Urban Density Geographic Entities.'  Our goal was to nudge the process along to restore equitable funding to all California counties.  With the support of our local Assemblyman (who chaired the Assembly Budget Committee and had also served as executive director of the Santa Cruz AIDS Project), we were able to secure a $6.5 million appropriation that effectively restored funding levels to the smaller counties statewide.  The funding remained until California's severe budget crisis.  There is a record of accomplishment on which I stand with pride.

Years ago, I attended the 70th birthday party for Chip Murray, pastor of First A.M.E. in Los Angeles.  Now, if you don't know First A.M.E., if there is something happening in LA's black community, First A.M.E. can usually be found.  In fact, when President Clinton would come to LA, his trip always included a stop at First A.M.E.   I had never met Pastor Murray, but I'd seen him preach several times because my boyfriend at the time, Eric, sang in the First A.M.E. Choir.  I reluctantly attended the party because it was important to Eric.   I was a bit self conscious to meet Pastor Murray as both Eric and I were openly and obviously gay.  As I approached Pastor Murray, he beamed regally.  He embrace was engulfing.  Intimidated by his embrace, I was shocked when I held me tenderly and then moved me back and looked directly into my eyes.  His gaze was piercing.  "You are born to create," he told me.  He then told me that I would never find happiness unless I was creating.  All these years later, I remember that as if it were yesterday.

I remain prepared to lead.  I am open to creation.  I celebrate and bless what comes next.  So I'm going to trust what I know and who I am.  I'm staying in my own lane, knowing that it is inspired and that every tool that will be called for resides somewhere within my reach.  I'm excited to see what unfolds.  I hope you are too!