Remembering Eric Rofes

Outside of my former office, I placed a framed picture of Eric Rofes.  Eric was a longtime educator and activist who worked for a range of progressive causes, including gay men's health.  I first met Eric at the second Gay Men's Health Summit in Boulder, Colorado.  I had read two of his books, Reviving the Tribe and Dry Bones Breathe.  Our friendship was more like conference mentorship.  When I first met him, I was struck by a few things.  First, he was nothing that I had expected.  He was a bit normal and I was struck by his thoughts and actions around gay men; it was a radical departure from the many trainings and conferences I had attended focusing on HIV prevention issues.  He was insightful and colorful.  On more than one occasion, he left me bewildered by his attitudes around gay men of color and how we fit into the larger movement.  Most important, I was impressed with his ability to own his own perspective while allowing room for dissent and disagreement.  I kept that picture visible so that I could check in from time to time and imagine what he might say about what we'd developed.

This morning, I picked up my copy of Thriving: Gay Men's Health in the 21st Century.  Again, I wanted to check in with Eric and hear what he might have to say.  First, I was reminded that Eric, while seeking consensus, held a point of view.  He had laid out a series of principles while acknowledging that these are not consensus principles, but rather his own set of guiding principles.  These principles created for him a foundation for his own work on gay men' health issues.  From reading his work, sharing moments of time during national conferences, and the ongoing legacy of his leadership, my own perspectives are informed.  And Eric certainly had his share of detractors.  Today, I am reminded of his leadership and inspired by his perspectives.

While my ongoing work with gay men will include health, it will not be organized around health issues.  I'll continue to talk with rank and file gay men in the community to learn more about what's important and what would make a difference for our community.  I'm not exactly sure today what that might look like.  But I can assure you that it will be principled.  Among these principles is the belief that many gay men are seeking to tap into sources of resilience, creativity, determination, humor and playfulness while celebrating the diversity of our communities.  The approach will be holistic, asset-driven, relational, informative, trusting and celebratory, multicultural and intergenerational, community-focused, and grassroots.  These values will be evident throughout our new organization.  I know that not every gay man in the Denver area will find relevance in these efforts.  But I know from experience that there is a market place for these particular ideas.  It is for these men that we will build newly.

Like Eric, I do not claim perfection nor do I set myself up as an expert in the area of gay men.  I'm just a guy with a point of view who's trying to work on behalf of my community.  More than anything, what I've learned from Eric is to trust in the work and to trust in my point of view.  So thank you, Eric, for your generosity and taking the time to share your humanity with me.  It has made a profound difference in my life.